The Ten Worst Movies of 2007

Here we are with another list, but this one is the fun one. It’s the worst films that were released wide in 2007. Oh, there were so many to choose from, but these held a special place of hatred in our hearts. Both Fat Guys Kevin Carr and Neil Miller had to agree on each entry, so lay off the complaints that Spider-Man 3 and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer were left off the list.

Flame on!

10. Norbit – The only thing that could have saved this film was a tongue-in-cheek ad campaign exalting the Oscar-nominated Eddie Murphy. At least then the trailer would have been funny.

9. Premonition – Within a few days of its release, this film made it on RottenTomatoes’ worst movies of all time list. And we agree with this. Sandra Bullock took herself too seriously in a movie that should have left a Hollywood script supervisor flipping burgers at McDonalds.

8. Alpha Dog – When Justin Timberlake’s acting is the best thing in the movie (well, second best at least, right after Olivia Wilde’s nude scene), you’ve got a problem. This was as dull as a water martini and stunk like alpha dog crap.

7. The Brave One – Yeah, Jodi Foster, we know you can act. Did you really need to do this movie? What a lame grab for Oscar gold. It just tried way too hard.

6. Full of It – Full of shit. ‘Nuff said.

5. The Reaping – She carries the Devil’s child. There, we just saved you a $3.99 rental at Blockbuster.

4. Things We Lost in the Fire – Sure, we love some Halle Berry, but my god in heaven, does she have to make such a boring film. While it was well acted, well shot and decent looking, the film was so boring, we wanted to escape with a heroin addiction.

3. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters – Fat Guy Kevin Carr is still getting hate mail from fanboys who loved the show. But he stands by his review. This was possibly one of the worst films ever made.

2. Lions for Lambs – Whether you agree or disagree with the film politically, you’ll never know. This talky snoozefest bored us all to tears… and it was only 88 minutes long. Way to redefine a classic movie studio, Tom Cruise!

1. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford – Yes, the film is as long and as boring as its title. There’s no suspense and no excitement. You know Jesse James is assassinated, and you know who does it. It could have easily been renamed The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford by the Filmmakers Who Like to Put Audiences to Sleep While They Drone On About Nothing…