10. MACGRUBER
I may be the only person in the known universe to find this movie funny (or to have actually seen it in the first place), but I’m okay with that. Considering the desolate minefield of unfunny SNL adaptations that have roamed the planet, it was nice to see a flick that actually made me laugh. It worked as a spoof movie and as a send-up of 80s action flicks. And it was classic MacGruber.
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10. Norbit (2007)
After being nominated for an Oscar, Eddie Murphy bounced back to remind the cinematic world that he still made some of the worst movies imaginable. It may have been a hit, but like the hideous spoofs of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, it only proved that at the right time, the public likes absolute crap.
9. Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (2000)
Although it induced nausea in moviegoers around the world, The Blair Witch Project was a bona fide indie hit that was a pretty neat film when all was said and done. However, in the wake of spoofs done by everyone from Chris Rock to porno producers, the sequel to this cinematic innovator reached levels of suck only consistently seen in Uwe Boll’s film repertoire.
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10. The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Mel Gibson had a vision to make a cinematic passion play in dead languages, and he did so without Hollywood’s backing or support. It was a very polarizing film, but it was a powerful movie that shook things up in Hollywood.
9. United 93 (2006)
Only a few years after the events of September 11, Paul Greengrass directed the first theatrical movie about the terror attacks. With its gritty docudrama style, “United 93” presented an ultra-realistic look at some of the greatest American heroes in modern time.
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10. All About Steve
Sandra Bullock had three movies in 2009, two of which have garnered award nominations. This is the other one. She plays a crossword puzzle writer who falls in “love” with a news cameraman and then stalks him from job to job. It’s a non-traditional romantic comedy that fails because it ignores the formula… and the characters are just plain stupid.
9. My Sister’s Keeper
Nick Cassavetes, who gave us the weepy drama “The Notebook,” directs this adaptation of Jodi Picoult’s novel about a family that creates a child to be an organ and tissue farm for their other daughter who is dying of leukemia. It’s overly manipulative and has some of the cheesiest plot points and line deliveries ever.
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10. Paranormal Activity
The theme for this year in my moviegoing adoration was the return of the theatrical experience, and “Paranormal Activity” was a tiny little film that made it big because of this. If you didn’t see this movie in a dark theater with 250 of your closest friends, you were really missing out.
9. Anvil: The Story of Anvil
Each year, a special documentary seems to make it on my list. This year’s pick is “Anvil: The Story of Anvil.” It’s a tender story of a real-life “Spinal Tap” with a bit of “American Movie” mixed in. I dare you to watch it and not root for the guys in the greatest metal band that never was.
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1. Alexander
What in God’s name was Oliver Stone thinking? This three hour nightmare takes one of the most powerful figures in history and reduces him to a squandering pervert. The most amazing thing about “Alexander” is that someone, somewhere actually thought it was a good idea.
2. Wicker Park
This remake of a French film bored me to tears. Starring the ever-unsympathetic Josh Hartnett in a story about lust triangles and the good kind of stalkers, “Wicker Park” was too fantastic to believe and too dull to watch ever again.
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1. The Passion of the Christ
Here is a film that no studio would touch, but suddenly became one of the biggest hits of the year. Unjustly criticized as being anti-Semitic, “The Passion of the Christ” was able to cross language, cultural and religious barriers to touch the heart of humanity.
2. Team America: World Police
Although considered a disappointment by the studio, the “South Park” guys turned out one of the funniest and gutsiest films of the year. Amid all the profanity and Hollywood-bashing, it skewered any sacred cow it could get its hands on and managed to trip up the MPAA with a simple puppet sex scene.
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